You meet your friend for coffee, and just like that, four hours and 40 topics have gone by. Your coffee cup sits next to you, nearly forgotten, with just a few sips left. You pick up your girlfriend on your way to the grocery store, knowing that running an errand with someone makes it 10 times better. You invite your best friend over the night before a trip to try on all the outfits you have planned — a second opinion always helps narrow things down. You cry, laugh, and sigh all within one catch-up, knowing your friend sitting in front of you is ready to receive any raw emotion with love, patience, and a willingness to listen.
If these scenarios sound familiar, you may be thinking about the female friendships in your life. Beyond the brunch dates and group chats, female friendship fundamentally shapes women’s mental, emotional, and even physical well-being. And if you’re in a romantic relationship, your female friendships may be quietly holding it up in ways you haven’t fully considered.
Why your partner can’t be your everything
We often place enormous pressure on our romantic partners to be everything: best friend, therapist, confidant, planner, motivator. But the healthiest relationships happen when our emotional support system (our “village”) is shared across multiple people — especially with close female friends.
Research in psychology has long proven that having “a village” is linked with better mental health, reduced stress, and improved life satisfaction. Social support — the perception that we have people who will listen, help, and stand with us in trying times — is one of the strongest predictors of psychological well-being across populations.
Friends offer perspective and empathy without the same emotional stakes as a partner. That freedom allows for honesty and validation that may feel harder to access in a romantic dynamic. When you’re able to process or even preview difficult emotions with a friend, it can actually bring more clarity and calm to your partnership.
How close friendships protect your mental health
Strong social ties are consistently linked to lower rates of depression, anxiety, and loneliness. Feeling connected gives people a sense of belonging and meaning, both of which are protective against mental health struggles. On the other hand, social isolation is associated with increased risk for mood disorders and cognitive decline.
When we can talk to our friends about what’s going on in our lives — without the need for a solution, just to be witnessed — it reduces emotional pressure in other relationships. Sometimes that processing space is exactly what allows us to return to our partners with greater empathy and perspective.
Your friends help shape who you are
They say we’re a product of the five people closest to us. While there is nuance to this, there’s truth in how relationships shape our sense of self. Female friendships often see us in different contexts than romantic partners: from the awkward growing pains of adolescence to breakups, births, relocations, or career shifts. They remind us of who we’ve been and who we’re becoming.
Social bonds offer reflection, validation, and perspective that help us make sense of our experiences. Being seen and accepted strengthens self-esteem and emotional resilience. That kind of grounding helps us show up more securely in every part of our lives — including romantic relationships.
You don’t have to carry it alone.
We learn emotional regulation through others. Processing usually requires another person. Whether it’s with your therapist, your best friend, or your partner, talking through feelings, receiving empathy, and even sharing silence helps us organize our internal world. This process, called coregulation, is foundational to your emotional health.
Having female friendships means having more access points for your emotional regulation. You don’t have to rely on one person to hold it all. And you don’t have to hold it all alone.
Friendship benefits your physical health, too.
Some studies have even linked friendships — and specifically female friendships — to cancer survival and recovery. One study published in Cancer found that women with small or no social networks were 43% more likely to have breast cancer recurrence, 64% more likely to die from breast cancer, and 69% more likely to die from any other cause.
This doesn’t just suggest correlation — it reveals the life-saving impact of relational connection.
The physical benefits don’t just start with something as severe as a diagnosis; they can show up in smaller ways as well. Studies show that walking with a companion leads to longer periods of exercise and increased feelings of support and motivation to live a healthy lifestyle, all while reaping the benefits of socialization.
Women support each other differently
There is evidence to suggest that women tend to engage in higher rates of self-disclosure than men, especially negative self-disclosure. Many women turn to sisters or close friends to talk through a problem, often leaving the conversation feeling more supported, understood, and less alone.
During these conversations, women often respond with empathy and presence rather than the urge to fix things or solve problems that may be felt from their boyfriends or husbands. This inclination to share openly, and to receive care in return, mirrors the stress response of “tending and befriending,” a term coined by UCLA psychologist Shelley Taylor. In stressful moments, we don’t only fight, flight, or freeze — we reach. We tend and befriend.
This instinct activates oxytocin, a hormone that regulates the nervous system and reduces stress. Since stress is linked to many chronic health issues, the ripple effects of relational safety are more significant than they may appear.
Keep your circle strong and your boundaries stronger
Even in the deepest friendships, boundaries are key. Some topics and feelings should remain sacred in your romantic relationship. For example, if your partner has asked you not to share specific family dynamics or private struggles, honoring that builds trust. It doesn’t mean you can’t get support — but it does mean being discerning.
It’s important to protect the integrity of your relationship, even when it’s tempting to spill everything to your girlfriends and get their perspective on a less-than-ideal situation. Maintaining the boundary your partner has asked you to respect should come before a dish-session with your friends.
When you do come to your friends for help, it can be tempting to vent and blame, putting your partner in a very hot seat, which can lead to negative bias and judgment from friends who are only hearing your side of the story. Therapist Anna Malles, LCSW, notes that
“Because friends are often deeply protective, sharing too much about your relationship’s challenges can unintentionally shape their opinions and their support of your relationship.
-Being thoughtful about what and how you share can make a difference. Using “I” statements to express your feelings, rather than venting about your partner’s shortcomings, and remembering to share what’s going well, including what you value, what gives you hope, and what feels worth working through, helps preserve balance and protect against bias. It’s also important to be clear with friends that you’re seeking support, not judgment.”
Female friendship is a form of relational wealth.
This past weekend, I went to Seattle with some girlfriends. We balanced grief and levity in a way that felt natural. At the end of the day, female friendships don’t just fill our calendars — they hold us. Our friends witness us in transition, reflect us back to ourselves, and steady us when life feels heavy or uncertain. They offer a kind of emotional oxygen that allows us to breathe more freely, think more clearly, and move through the world with greater resilience.
Investing in female friendships isn’t just about having fun or venting. It’s a foundation for emotional regulation, relational health, and personal identity. And in partnerships, it can relieve the pressure of expecting one person (your partner) to meet all your emotional needs.
Honoring your female friendships doesn’t mean placing them above your partner, nor does it mean abandoning boundaries or discretion. It means recognizing that no single relationship can meet all of your emotional needs. Your well-being is strongest when care is shared across a village. When you invest in female friendships, you support not only your mental and emotional health, but also the very systems that help you survive and thrive throughout your lifetime.